healing is not linear

Did you know….?

Healing is not linear.

When you’re navigating chronic pain, an illness or recovering from an injury the process can be FRUSTRATING.

First, it’s exhausting to live in a body that is constantly expressing pain. 

So, when things start to shift and feel better, it can be SO discouraging when pain or discomfort emerges once again.

I have been exploring my relationship with healing this entire year. 

At the beginning of January I fell down icy stairs directly onto my coccyx (I’m pretty sure I fractured something). 

I’ve been in a deep healing process for the last 9.5 months.

This has been THE most significant fall/injury in my life (and for those who know my relationship to stairs and falling, this is a pretty bold statement!)

The healing process has been extremely SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW and relief has come at a snail’s pace.

Over the last month or so, my spine has been feeling dramatically better. I can sit for extended periods of time without my bones feeling like they are breaking, or feeling that I need to shift the weight to my side/hip, instead of sitting on my butt. 

However, this past weekend so much feels like it regressed. My tailbone is sending shooting pains again, and my whole lower back is scrunched and twisted, which is making it near impossible to be sitting comfortably at all.

I noticed a really annoyed part of me surface with some feelings about it all:

I can’t believe this is still an issue!

Why is this taking so long to heal?

I’ve been feeling better, what did I do wrong?

It’s been almost 10 months, why can’t my body just get over it already?

After giving that part of me some space to have a tantrum, I realized that I started my bleed. I have noticed a pattern over the last few months, with my new back relief, that when my body is on her cycle, everything is way more sensitive and the pain from the fall does resurface.

Everything is intricately connected in the body, especially my pelvic bowl, lower back and my coccyx. 

Of course there would be an impact when my body is in her most sensitive state of release– that different parts of my body would be affected.

This does not mean I’m going backward with my healing process, or that things have not healed. 

It means, there are different layers and cycles to our healing. Depending on what’s going on for us, our stress levels, emotions, our health conditions, where we are at in our cycles, etc., impacts how our body feels. 

As much as I would love healing to be a clear, more straight forward process, it just isn’t.

We feel better and then pain can kick back up again.

We have energy and then our chronic illness flares up and we need to build in more rest.

There isn’t a specific formula. 

Healing is not linear.

It’s complex.

It’s layered.

And it often doesn’t make a ton of sense.

When we get frustrated or stressed out about our healing process, it slows down and interrupts the body’s ability to cycle through what is needed.

How can you meet your body where she/he/they is at today?

If you are looking for some support in your healing process, I invite you to reach out. My Somatic Integration hands-on healing, Virtual Recalibrate Sessions or MELT Method Sessions may be the support you need to navigate this journey with more ease. 

Send me an email (sara@saravatore.com) and let’s connect.

I would be honored to hold space for you.