I’m someone who deeply values connection.
So for most of my life, it’s felt really hard when someone I care about disagrees with me, especially if they’re upset, or if I’m standing in a truth they can’t see or feel from where they are.
This used to completely unravel me.
Even if I knew what I was feeling or sensing was right for me, the discomfort of dissonance, the charge of not being in agreement, would flood my system.
That charge felt like shame.
Heat. Pressure. Nausea and tightness in my solar plexus and belly.
A deep, familiar signal in my body that said: You’re wrong. You’re bad. You shouldn’t feel this way.
Sound familiar?
Lately, I’ve been working on being with that dissonance.
Not fixing it.
Not collapsing into someone else’s viewpoint.
Not overriding my knowing just to make things smooth.
But actually holding it.
I had a moment last week with my husband around a parenting decision. We both saw how to respond to the situation completely differently. In the past, I would’ve either shut down or convinced myself he must be right.
But this time, I stayed with myself.
Even though it was uncomfortable.
Even though my body still flared with those old shame signals.
Even though we didn’t land in the same place.
I realize that this is the work.
Being able to feel the dissonance and stay rooted in what’s true for you.
Expanding your nervous system’s capacity to hold the tension of difference without collapsing your truth.
Trusting that someone can disagree with you and still love you.
Trusting that YOU can disagree and still feel connected, safe, and whole.
This isn’t just about marriage or parenting, this happens in business, too.
There have been so many moments where I’ve made a decision in my work that my husband didn’t understand.
Or I’ve wanted to respond to a client in a way that he never would, and it brought up that old feeling:
Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I should do it differently.
But the truth is: we each get to hold our own knowing.
And when we stop abandoning ourselves to avoid discomfort, we become more stable, more trustworthy, and more powerful leaders, in business, in life, and in love.
If this resonates, know you’re not alone.
And know it’s okay if your body still flares up when this happens.
That’s why we do the work, not just to know what’s true, but to hold it with more ease.
I’d love to hear: have you ever felt this in your own relationships or business? How do you hold yourself in those moments?
And if this is the kind of inner work you're ready to deepen into (learning to trust your knowing, expand your capacity, and lead with more alignment and stability) this is exactly the kind of support I offer in my 1:1 Somatic Coaching for women in business.
It’s not about forcing change.
It’s about gently repatterning the way your body holds leadership, success, relationships, and truth.
Send me a message if you’re feeling the pull to explore what this kind of support could look like for you during this season of your life. I’d love to connect. 💙
